Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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