Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
