I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
