what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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