I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize