I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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