when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize