i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
