She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I just googled if crying burns calories
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
