you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
