So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
