You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
