girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
