Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
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Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
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FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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