is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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