He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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