If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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