Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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