Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
