are you so shy because you have an std?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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