i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
