Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
