fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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