I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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