I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize