yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Randomize
