my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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