Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Terrible idea I love it
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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