you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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