just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
