Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize