help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
