Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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