Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Randomize
