My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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