I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
