What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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