i can't believe i had my finger in that
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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