it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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