Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
