I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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