Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
