I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
