sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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