i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
