I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Everything about him screamed your future.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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