i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
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BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.