what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
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I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
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And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha