brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going