haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.