JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
