I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
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