Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
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Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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