at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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