wrigley field is MILF paradise
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
