Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
