i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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