I'm eating all of the evidence.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
