What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
